I led worship for the last time as the worship leader at MosaicRC. Two months ago I met with my pastor and told him that I'm ready to move into the next phase of my life. I'm graduating from Fuller in three weeks and will hopefully begin stitute teaching soon. It'll be wierd without grad school or the smell of coffee in my hair anymore, but I'm excited. With only a commitment to pay rent, I'll have more freedom to visit friends that moved away. I'll also be able to read for fun and play video games with guilt.
Leading worship for the last time was a surreal experience. I loved what I was doing, creating new ways to do worship was a joy in my life, but I'm ready to go somewhere else. My church was great but I need to find a church body in the isn't in the suburbs. I've been plagued by guilt for the last two years for always talking about social change but not doing it. Finding a more established church body in an urban context will hopefully solve that.
My father gave me the idea to go check out the big wig churches around here like Harvest, Saddleback, and the Dream Center to see what the fuss was about. I rather like that idea and plan to do that, going to places like All Saints in Pasadena, churches in LA, and wherever else people suggest I should go. I don't expect to find spiritual fulfillment in a church for a while. It's become too much of a habit (and I can honestly say that I have never felt God in a church [I'm not making that up]). So it only makes sense to look around to see what's out there. In the mean time, I'm hoping to join/create a small group/book club/weekend cult to keep me in line. Things are changing and I'm very excited about no knowing where the fuck I'll end up in a few months/years/decades/life times.